I keep thinking about how when people are under stress, our true character is revealed.
And as my Wendy said a few weeks ago, "What I'm seeing revealed in myself isn't flattering."
In an effort to be kind to ourselves (myself include), here's a question for you:
I wonder if you're aware of all that you are feeling these days? What's going on around us and with us - a literal global pandemic - is a novel experience for all of us.
What I'm noticing in myself, and in so many in our society, is a sense of individual and collective grief.
I see people grieving the loss of lives.
I see people grieving the loss of jobs.
I see people grieving the loss of choices.
I see people grieving the loss of outings.
I see people grieving the loss of family gatherings.
I see people grieving the loss of rites of passage events.
I see people grieving the loss of a normal routine.
I see people grieving the loss of going to school & work.
I see people grieving the loss of Sunday worship gatherings.
I see people grieving the loss of control over our lives.
I see people grieving the loss of the illusion that we had control over our lives to begin with.
So much loss.
So much pain.
So much grief.
When we don't know we're dealing with pain in our lives, or if we don't know how to grieve the pain we are feeling, this often turns to anger as an expression of what's going on inside of us.
It can also come out as other things, such as depression, sadness, apathy, etc.
But what I'm noticing among folks is a huge amount of change that we were thrust into, coupled with severe limitations on our everyday lives, and how some are processing that as anger - and the rest of us are hearing all about it.
When I'm angry, I'm always curious about unprocessed grief that is hiding just beneath the surface.
When folks around me are angry, I'm always curious about unprocessed grief in their lives.
So, what are we to do?
As a pastor, my role is to invite folks to FEEL what they are feeling, and to encourage them to bring these feelings into God's presence, through prayer, through reading the psalms, and through the biblical tradition of lament.
God is close to those who are angry. God is near to those who are hurting.
Our anger becomes destructive when we refuse to listen to it and to bring it to God. Our anger becomes destructive when we project our feelings onto another person, or a group of people, because they are an easy target - say elected officials, or our kids, or the endless Lebron vs. MJ GOAT debate. Whatever your anger jam happens to be.
Pay attention to what is making you angry.
Listen to what it has to teach you.
It may be an invitation by God's Spirit to lament your lack of control in this life in God's presence.
Our ability to grieve our losses, and feel our pain in God's presence, is correlated with our ability to develop empathy and compassion for our neighbors.
I wonder if this is also correlated with our ability to develop empathy and compassion for ourselves? Because we're all going through A TIME right now. Let's be patient with ourselves, knowing that we're going to get things wrong a lot right now. And that's ok.
Maybe this is simply an opportunity to practice repentance on a daily basis? It's difficult to stay angry and self-focused when we practice regular repentance.
This is a key component to practicing the Greatest Command - loving God with our whole being, and loving our neighbors as ourselves.
After all, the commandment from Jesus is to "love your neighbor as yourself." Which is infinitely more difficult than it sounds, right?
Let's practice this together.
Let's feel what we're feeling, and bring this into the presence of God.
You can do that.
So can I.
Are you with me?
Grace & Peace for the journey, my friends.
May it be so.