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Five Easy Steps To Becoming A Christian
Step 1 - Say A Prayer
Out of your heart, there must be a willingness to acknowledge that you can't do life as you know it alone. That you have a deep need. A deep need that you can't fill by yourself.
The self-help books fall short. The programs and the seminars and the goals and the resolutions don't produce the results you are looking for. That relationship didn't fulfill every longing. Neither did the new job. Or the new thing. Or the new line of Oreos.
The deepest longings of your heart grow louder than ever.
And in that moment, where you know that heaven and earth are coming together, where the life that you're living and the life that you are being invited to live begin to collide, you surrender. You give up. You walk away from your own personal agenda, the one you've had since the seventh grade, or since January. And you know you can't do this anymore. That you have a NEED for something greater. A need for a connection TO something greater.
In this moment, you are invited to acknowledge that God has been and is, closer than you've ever realized.
If you must, use words to say these things. But know that the deepest guttural instincts within you will suffice.
This is where you begin.
Step 2 - Go To Church
Find a place, any place that is quiet will do. Make a spot. Sit down. Quiet your body. Turn off your phone. Take a nap, if you must. Pay attention. See that God is meeting you there, for God is on a mission to meet us in the world where we live. It's called Incarnation. God is here. God is present. If you can wake up to that, you are being more Christian than most Christians.
Learn to breathe the Spirit of God who walks with you. And learn to submit to the Spirit of God that grows in presence where two or more are gathered in God’s name.
Step 3 - Read Your Bible
The story found in scripture is your story. It is our story. It is the story of God in the world, before the world, and after the world. And when we read it, we begin to discover how the story of God intersects with the story of our lives. This intersection is called Grace.
And be forewarned: there's a ton of crazy stuff in the bible. It's just how it is. Like your life, all messy and messed up and shocking and full of imperfections. That's what makes it interesting. And, it's what gives God an opportunity to step into your story, full of pain and brokenness, and say, "Behold, I am making all things new."
Step 4 - Honor Your Body
God gave you a mind, full of logic and rationale and structure and chemicals. But there's a reason Jesus didn't come into the world to simply inhabit your mind. Jesus came as a flesh-and-blood human being, and as Peterson says, he "moved into the neighborhood." Your neighborhood. Your street. Your sub. Your home. Your field. Your garden. Your bedroom. Your marriage. Your parenting. Your body.
Do as Barbara Brown Taylor suggests, and every so often stand naked in front of a full-length mirror, and pray. See what God has made, and see that God has called it good. Notice the shame that you feel, and let God transform that into kindness and curiosity. When you begin to sense that faith is becoming a mental exercise, go plant a garden or cut some wood or hang some clothes on the line. Feel your muscles ache, and bandage your wounds. Practice being human, and letting God sing over you a blessing that the body you inhabit is not only as it is meant to be, but it is good. That God is indeed making all things new, even your body. Join God in THAT work. And remember, the voice of shame is NEVER the voice of God. Ever.
If, at any point, you begin to only BELIEVE Christianity, and reduce it to a cognitive exercise, begin again at Step 1.
Step 5 - Live A Life Of Gratitude
Thank you for my wife. Thank you for my two boys. Thank you for my friends Ryan D. and Andy S., who I spoke on the phone with yesterday, who love me and encourage me. Thank you for my coffee, right now. Thank you for Luna, my dog, who shows me how to live fully into who I have been created to be - she is such a dog!
Thank you for the bird songs. Thank you for the crisp morning air. Thank you for scrambled eggs, and oranges, and roast chicken with the sticky bits at the bottom of the cast-iron skillet. Thank you for life, and breath, and muscles, and oxygen, and money to give away, and vacations to look forward to, and surprises, and really good books, and sunshine, and physical pain, and failure, and waterfalls, and SWV sampling that one Michael Jackson song. So good!
These are ALL GOOD GIFTS. And they are all around us.
So may you be a Christian today.
If you find yourself not knowing how to have faith, or how to make sense of the bible, or how to pray, or what to do with your anger, or unhappiness, or despair, follow these Five Easy Steps To Becoming A Christian.
And consider seeing a counselor, finding a pastor, or throwing a dinner party. Those things can help too.
As a professional Christian, this is my best summary. Let me know how it goes. The Peace of Christ be with you on your journey.
Amen.
I Don't Know How To Do This: Learning To Live In A Liminal Season
Move Into The Neighborhood
When we don't know people in real life who are different than us, it's very easy for us to assume the worst about "them."
We are persuadable and impressionable people. We want to believe that "we" are the good people, and "they" are the bad people.
Not only does this make us feel better about ourselves and our groups that we align with, but it keeps us from wondering if, perhaps, we need to rethink our choices, actions, alignments, and assumptions about how the world works (think religion, politics, social dynamics, neighborliness, etc.).
My kids do this in their pre-adolescent brains. Yours do too. They believe there are "good guys" and "bad guys" in all of their play. This is how their world works. Their brains are not developed to the point where they can see the nuance of the good and the bad that often exists simultaneously in all of us.
But adults are different. We *do* have the capacity to see the good and the bad, but often we make the choice to believe that we are "good" and they are "bad."
Why is this?
What damage is this doing in our society?
And what are we to do about it?
In the Gospel of John, the author speaks into this. If you're a Christian - a Jesus Follower - this is for you.
I love the way The Message (translated and paraphrased by Eugene Peterson) renders this passage:
"The Word became flesh and blood,
and moved into the neighborhood."
-John 1:14
If we want to turn down the dial on how we *feel* about people we don't know, we need to do the work of "moving into the neighborhood."
How do we do that when we live so far apart?
We have podcasts.
And documentaries.
And books.
And discussion groups.
Even in my county, where our current President won the 2016 election, 1 out of 3 people who voted did not vote for him.
That means, if you live where I live, if you voted for the current President, everywhere you look, you'll see one person who voted as you did, and one person who did not.
That's a great opportunity to be curious about why people you work with, worship with, live next to and build a local community alongside, see the world differently than you do.
As a Christian - following the Way of Jesus - the invitation for you is to "move into the neighborhood" by learning to relate, with curiosity and humility, to those folks in our community who see the world, and the basic realities our national narrative, differently than you do.
This is your work to do.
This is for you if you lean left, and don't know anyone who leans right.
This is equally for you if you lean right, and don't know anyone who leans left.
Democracy thrives when we learn to live within a society of difference, and we make it as simple, easy, and safe as possible for everyone to vote who deserves to vote (meaning, all who are citizens of this country). We have work to do on this front.
If you judge the entire group of people who vote differently than you do base on the destructive actions of a fringe few, you are equally the problem.
If you are Liberal, and you do this with Conservatives, you are the problem.
If you are Conservative, and you do this with Liberals, you are the problem.
When you say to yourself, or others, "I don't know how ANYONE could believe something like that?" you betray your position that you haven't done the work to understand why reasonable, smart, respectable people could come to a different conclusion than you have.
You have assumed the worst about your neighbor, without even doing the work to hear them out.
I know really good people, who I trust and respect, who happen to be Conservative.
I know really good people, who I trust and respect, who happen to be Liberal.
I have faith in our democracy for several reasons. Chiefly among them is that I know good, decent, caring people who vote on all sides. I know good people who love and are invested in their communities on all sides. I know people who hold their convictions strongly, but who choose to love those who are different from them, on all sides.
Our political moment - and some politicians - would have you believe that "we" are good and "they" are bad.
Don't let those vying for power manipulate you into thinking things that go against your values.
You're too smart to fall for that.
And if you live where I live, in small-town, rural Midwest (where I was raised too), then keep in mind that in many cases, no matter where you are, no matter where you go in your community, or who you are talking with, there are people who see things differently than you do.
That doesn't make them "bad", or stupid, or evil.
It makes them part of a democracy.
An imperfect union.
If we can keep it.
A Prayer To Hold The Grief Of Our World
A Prayer To Hold The Grief Of Our World
--
God Of All Things,
We are overwhelmed with the news cycles,
We are overwhelmed with the images on our screens,
We are overwhelmed with the anger and sadness of the world.
We wonder what good can come of such hatred?
What good can come from destruction?
What good can come from another election cycle?
We long for your peace to reign,
And we long to be people of peace,
Yet we know peace can only come on the other side of grief and loss, pain, and suffering.
We invite you into our world,
Not in abstraction,
But in real, tangible ways.
We weep for the deaths of your beloved children, whose lives were taken from us too soon:
Jacob
Cannon
Breonna
George
Ahmaud
Atatiana
Botham
Philando
Sandra
Tamir
And so many others.
Too many to name.
We hold them in our hearts now...
We know you are a good Father, who showers your children with good gifts.
But now, we are weeping, and we need you to comfort us in our grief.
We weep for the pain that death causes, knowing that nothing will ever be the same for the families who have buried their children.
We weep for the partisan rifts in our society, for the misinformation that is gobbled up by those too hurt to care to know the truth.
We weep for the leaders in positions of power who are more intent on holding those powerful positions than improving the lives of those they are supposed to serve.
We weep over the social media fights, the looting, the physical fights, and the men who carry semi-automatic weapons into the fray, believing themselves to be the authority of the hour.
We weep for the mothers and fathers, the sisters and brothers, who will never again laugh with the loved ones who have been slain.
We weep for those consumed with conspiracy theories, and whose online activity is proving destructive offline.
We weep for the neighborhoods, the communities, the schools, and the churches who have been under the boot of oppression for generations, and who have to endure another day of injustice. One more day is too much.
We weep for those who speak past each other, choosing memes over presence and curiosity, choosing partisan ideology over intentional relationships.
We weep for the wives and husbands, the mothers and fathers, the daughters and sons who say worrying goodbyes to their loved ones in uniform each day, who have sworn to defend and protect, and yet find themselves in impossible situations, because of problems whose fault is not theirs alone to bear.
We weep for our society's inability to solve these generations-old problems. We weep for the politicians too beholden to powerful interests, rather than daily pursuing the common good.
We weep for the families who have been torn apart on account of warring political factions. We weep for their family reunions that are cold, and their tense conversations where one speaks past another time and again.
We weep for the empty tables,
The empty rooms,
The empty backyards,
The empty parks,
The empty schools,
The empty office buildings,
The empty restaurants,
The empty bank accounts,
The empty church buildings,
And the empty hearts, that are a result of this global pandemic.
We weep for the sin and the pain and the destruction that all people have created on account of lifting ourselves up over and above our mandate to love our neighbor as ourselves.
We weep for those who see their individual rights as more sacred than preserving the health and well being of the community.
We weep for those whose Christianity is but a shadow of the Way of Jesus and has become twisted with a Nationalism that has nothing to do with that Way.
We weep for those who claim to speak for God, but whose words and demeanor have nothing of God's Spirit in them.
We weep for those who are scared.
We weep for those who are angry.
We weep for those who are sick.
We weep for those who are exhausted.
For we are scared, angry, sick, and exhausted too.
Come quickly, Lord Jesus.
Come not simply to take us from this mess, but to renew our hope, our resolve, and our courage to be partners with you in redeeming this mess.
May you join us together in spite of our differences.
May you help us truly see that we have more in common than we care to realize most of the time.
May you help us tune out the politicos and the talking heads, and tune into your Spirit, who is always calling us deeper into love, into presence, and into transformation.
May your Kingdom come,
May your will be done,
On earth, as it is in Heaven.
May we choose this, over and above every other option.
May it be so.
Amen.
Pastoral Letter | June 19, 2020 | Faith, Race, and Justice
Dear Markey Church,
Like you, I've been paying close attention to the events in our society over the past three weeks, since the needless murder of George Floyd at the hands of the Minneapolis police, with deep sadness and deep ambivalence. The response to Floyd's murder by the public, in general, has been overwhelming to me.
I've been deeply troubled by the acts of rioting and looting at the hands of a small group of folks. I've been even more deeply troubled at the brutality of particular police departments toward overwhelmingly peaceful protestors. We live in a country of civil liberties, chiefly among them is the right to free speech, and to gather peacefully to raise our voices. Not only is this an American value, but our ecclesial heritage within the broader Baptist world holds these values deeply, and defends these values within our legal system, all the way up to the Supreme Court, through a variety of denominational organizations. Chiefly among them is the Baptist Joint Committee.
Race & Faith
Let me be clear: talking about race is really difficult. It's hard. We get defensive. We get easily overwhelmed. We don't know what to do or say sometimes. We often have to face our own complicity in systems and communities that have historically been unjust. It leaves us feeling full of shame to take an honest look at such things, so it's easier for us to look away, to disengage, or to convince ourselves that this is not our problem to solve.
But what I've said over and over again, is that here in America, we have a problem. And the first step to solving a problem is admitting we have one in the first place.
As a white man, a Jesus Follower, a husband, a father, and a citizen of this nation, I've been trying to do much more listening than talking over the past three weeks. Most of my talking has been one-on-one, or in some smaller groups, both with folks who call Markey Church home and with other friends, many of whom are pastors.
If you want to hear my thoughts in real-time on some of these issues, I wrote about the murder of Amhaud Arbery here, and I wrote about the murder of George Floyd here.
I'm writing to you today to invite you into the same posture I've been attempting to practice. That is, listening to the voices of folks in the Back community who have much to say and teach us right now.
Quick To Listen
If you're open to learning and listening, below you'll find a list of recommended people to pay attention to right now. These are all Black leaders in the braoder Church, or with roots in our tradition, who I've been learning from lately. These are all our sisters and brothers in Christ. Their voices matter at this moment now, more than ever. They've always mattered, but I'm realizing that I haven't listened with an intent to understand and be changed by their perspective. That's what I'm attempting to do right now, and I would encourage you to do the same.
I would invite you to pay attention to what they are posting online, what they are writing about, and what they have to say, many times more than paying attention to cable news channels, and your white friends on Facebook, or other social media platforms. Also, I would invite you to pay attention to faithful Christian leaders who resist political affiliation with a political party but look to faithfully align with the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and the Kingdom of God, neither of which neatly falls into either of our dominant political parties in American politics. I would invite you to purchase their books, and read them, and listen to their podcasts, or other interviews they've done, which you can likely find online by searching on youtube, etc. They have much to teach us about following Jesus in the world, right now.
As I said in a sermon on May 24th, "Jesus Followers seek to understand the people with whom we disagree." If there was ever a time for us to listen - even if you disagree with their perspective - that time would be right now.
Summer Connect Group - Faith, Race, & Justice
We will have opportunities over Summer Connect to process some of this listening. I'll be hosting a Summer Connect group in my backyard on Monday evenings beginning June 29th, where we'll have discussions on Faith, Race, & Justice. We'll be reading Rev. Dr. Daniel Hill's phenomenal book White Awake: An Honest Look At What It Means To Be White, and I would encourage you to sign up for that group when that opportunity becomes available. White Awake is $4.99 on kindle, or you can purchase it in ebook format directly from the publisher. Like many books on race, it is hard to get a paperback copy at the moment. We have some ways to work with this, so don't let that discourage you from joining this Summer Connect Group. Space is limited, so if you're interested, please reach out to me ASAP.
But for now, I simply want to invite you to listen, prayerfully, with your whole attention. Listen for understanding, not to defend or argue with.
May Jesus Christ, the Savior of the world, be with you as you listen.
--
Rev. Dominique Gilliard - Pastor & leader in the Evangelical Covenant Church
website
book - Rethinking Incarceration
Dr. Brenda Salter McNeil - Pastor at Quest Church in Seattle, Professor of Racial Reconciliation at Seattle Pacific University, & speaker/author on issues related to racial reconciliation.
website
book - Roadmap To Reconciliation 2.0
Rev. Rich Villodas - Pastor of New Life Church, in Queens, New York (the church who gave birth to the Emotionally Healthy Spirituality course that we've used here at Markey Church).
linktree
book - The Deeply Formed Life
Latasha Morrison - Founder of Be The Bridge, a Christian-based, racial reconciliation ministry, and host of the Be The Bridge podcast
website
book - Be The Bridge: Pursuing God's Heart For Racial Reconciliation
Jemar Tisby - Ph.d Historian, and Pastor, president of The Witness: A Black Collective
website
book - The Color of Compromise
video series - The Color of Comprise (free with Amazon Prime)
The Witness
Bryan Stevenson - Founder of The Equal Justice Initiative, and the National Memorial for Peace and Justice, which honors the "more than 4400 African American men, women, and children were hanged, burned alive, shot, drowned, and beaten to death by white mobs between 1877 and 1950."
website
book - Just Mercy
movie - Just Mercy (free to watch during the month of June)
Austin Channing Brown - Author, Activist, and Teacher around race in America
website
book
web series
Lisa Sharon Harper - Author, Activists, and Founder of Freedom Road, an organization that through teaching and experiences attempts to change the narrative around race and justice in America
website - person
books & articles
website - Freedom Road
David M. Bailey - president of Arrabon, a racial reconciliation ministry
website
music
Rev. Dr. Esau McCaulley - New Testament professor at Wheaton College, Pastor in the Anglican Church in America
website
recent Christianity Today article - Preaching Against Racism Is Not A Distraction From The Gospel
recent New York Times op-ed - What The Bible Has To Say About Black Anger
--
These are 10 voices I've been paying attention to for a while now.
If you have space to pay attention to only one, I would recommend Latash Morrison, and Be The Bridge. If you have space for 1 or 2 more, I would recommend Rev. Dr. Esau McCaulley, and Bryan Stevenson, from Equal Justice Initiative.
All of these voices (and many more I'm sure) have so much to offer us right now and moving ahead into the future, around being people of God's peace and justice in a divided world. Some of the things they say may upset you. Be curious about that, and sit with it. It's ok to be upset. You don't have to agree with everything someone says in order to learn from them.
In all of this, my friends, my prayer is that by listening and learning together, we will make room for God's Spirit to transform us in ways we cannot expect, and cannot even know to ask or pray for at this moment.
Will you join me in the work of listening and learning? Will you commit to doing this as a Jesus Follower in 2020? Will you consider joining my Summer Connect Groups on Faith, Race, & Justice?
That's my invitation to you.
I'm praying for you Markey Church.
I love you.
May God's Spirit continue to guide us as we seek God's Kingdom here on earth just as it is in heaven.
Grace & Peace,
Pastor David
America, We Have A Problem
I'm not a handyman.
When something is broken in our home it produces stress and anxiety within me and reminds me of how I'm just not good at working around the house.
If you have a hankering for some from-scratch pizza or some oven-roasted chicken shawarma, then I'm your guy. I can roast, grill, saute, ferment, fry, and bake with the best of them.
I suppose this is because I grew up with a father who taught me the ways of the kitchen, rather than the ways of the handyman. My Dad was a professional cook who ran kitchens that often fed hundreds of people three delicious meals each day, nearly year-round. He could whip out homemade pancakes for 300 people on a flattop griddle in 45 minutes. He could make enough pizza to satisfy 250 middle-schoolers on a Wednesday night. He made the best damn homemade croutons you'll ever have.
And so I learned how to cook.
Really, I learned how to cook once I moved out and wanted to prepare food as good as my Dad's in the absence of his presence. Even though he died a few years ago, cooking is still one of the greatest connective activities I have to remember him and honor him. I'm grateful for what he passed on to me.
If you need a subtly spiced chicken tikka masala, I'm your guy.
If you need a circuit breaker checked, or a garbage disposal replaced, not so much.
We are who we are largely because of the parents who nurtured us, raised us, and taught us what they knew to teach. Sure, we pick up lessons, wisdom, and practical knowledge from places like school, church, and other social environments, but our families have an outsized influence on who we are as kids, and who we become as adults.
As a pastor, I've learned from folks like Reggie Joiner that, at best the local church will have 52 hours each year with the kids that we serve. 52 hours to disciple, to love, to learn, and to influence.
Parents, on the other hand, have 3600 hours each year with our kids. 3600 hours to disciple, to love, to learn, and to influence.
Our families have a massive opportunity - and a massive responsibility - to nurture and shape our children, so they can bring about their own human flourishing, and the human flourishing of others throughout their entire lives. The greater the cultural power, the greater responsibility we have to bring about human flourishing.
And that brings me to the murder of Ahmaud Arbery.
If you STILL don't know who that is, take 10 minutes to google his name, read the stories, watch the video (WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT) of his senseless execution, and then come on back. I'll wait...
You back? Good.
It is not lost on me, or anyone really, that Arbery was gunned down by a family. A father and son, to be precise.
Now, I have no idea why these men felt threatened by Arbery’s presence in their neighborhood, beyond their stated reason. If we take them at their word, they were concerned that Arbery was a neighborhood burglar, and they felt compelled to confront him. Not knowing if such a person was armed, they entered into this confrontation heavily armed themselves.
People do dumb, even horrific things when they (we) are afraid. I know I have. Fear has a way of inviting us to throw out all sensibility. Fear has a way of distorting reality. Fear has a way of controlling us and inviting us to do things that we wouldn't normally do. I have no idea if these men *behaved* in this way prior to hunting down, confronting, and killing Aubrey. But I'm guessing they weren't regularly practicing racial reconciliation with their black brothers and sisters.
We fear what we don't know. Fear controls us. Fear leads us down the road to destruction.
Fear also has a way of revealing what is truly in our hearts.
Suspicion.
Hatred.
Anger.
The need to be in control.
When we're afraid, we aren't in touch with empathy, or compassion, or goodness in any way. When we're afraid, we're only feeling fight-flight or freeze.
And these two men, this father, and son, they chose to fight.
So did Ahmaud. What choice did he really have? And he lost his life in this confrontation.
Here's my worry at this moment. In the coming days, you will hear a growing chorus of people that will say things like, "This doesn't matter because...." They will look to explain away, to scapegoat, to implicate, and to plant seeds of doubt in your mind.
In order to solve a problem, one first has to admit that they have a problem. And my friends, here in America, we have a problem.
Our problem goes back centuries.
It spans generations of American families.
Our problem is passed on from parents to children, from fathers and mothers to sons and daughters.
Our problem is what we call racism.
It is an inability to acknowledge the image of God that is inherent within everyone, no matter their skin color, economic standing, background, beliefs, power, or even their criminal record.
Our problem is that some of us believe we are better than others.
Some of us believe that we deserve a better life, through no merit of our own.
Some of us have been told the lie that our God-ordained place is at the top, while others are left to do the evil they so clearly want to do (or so we're told).
Some of us have been brought up to believe that our inherent value is somehow greater than that of our neighbors.
All because of the systems around us that call one person black, and another person (like me) white.
Some of us are never *told* any of these things, but we pick up the messages around us.
We speak of "bad neighborhoods" without the faintest idea of how those neighborhoods have been under-resourced and discriminated against for generations.
We grow up watching tv shows like Cops, which show law enforcement running down people in these "bad neighborhoods."
We come to see black and brown people as "less than," and we come to see white folks as more deserving.
Arbery’s murder is a gross act of racism. I have never done such a thing. But racism has crept into my heart nonetheless.
Some of us can't come to terms with how we have been living in The Huner Games our entire lives, and we are the residents of The Capitol.
My friends, here in America, we have a problem.
And the only way to begin solving a problem is to admit we have one in the first place. That's the most basic first step here.
I have grown up in a culture of racism.
I am a racist.
I have so much to learn.
I have so far to go.
This is not because my parents deliberately taught me to be racists, or to discriminate against black and brown people, or to think I'm somehow better than *those* people.
But our entire culture around us has been designed, at times deliberately, at times by coincidence, to lift up someone like me, and to tear down someone like Ahmaud Arbery.
I'm a proficient home cook because of my family.
I'm a terrible handyman because of my family.
I'm a loving father because of my family.
And I'm a recovering racist white man because of the America my family has been part of for generations.
It's as simple, and complicated as that.
My first real job out of college was two-fold. By day I was a substitute teacher in the 2nd largest urban school district in Indiana (Fort Wayne), and on the nights and weekends, I was a worship leader for a large, wealthy suburban mega-church, for high school and college students.
One community was predominately white.
One was predominantly Black and Latino.
It was my two years in these two very different spaces that led me to see the racism that was alive and active in my own heart. Those are different stories for a different day. But take my word for it. What I saw in myself was deeply troubling.
What I see in America is deeply troubling. Even more so.
I grieve the loss of Ahmaud Arbery’s life.
I grieve a culture that leads two white men to so fear - to perhaps so *hate* - a black man that they follow him in a residential neighborhood, confront him with guns, and shoot him to death when he doesn't respond with a stay-calm-and-carry-on type of attitude. Just like you would if you were hunted down by men with guns.
I grieve the America that I so love, that after all these years we *still* haven't done the cultural work of naming our sin, repenting of our sin, and doing the work of restorative justice.
I don't have any easy answers.
All I know is that if we want to solve a problem, we must admit there is a problem in the first place.
America, we have a problem.
White folks, we have a problem.
The first step is to admit it.
The next step is to begin to ask, "What are we going to do about it?"
The Pain We're All Feeling
I keep thinking about how when people are under stress, our true character is revealed.
And as my Wendy said a few weeks ago, "What I'm seeing revealed in myself isn't flattering."
In an effort to be kind to ourselves (myself include), here's a question for you:
I wonder if you're aware of all that you are feeling these days? What's going on around us and with us - a literal global pandemic - is a novel experience for all of us.
What I'm noticing in myself, and in so many in our society, is a sense of individual and collective grief.
I see people grieving the loss of lives.
I see people grieving the loss of jobs.
I see people grieving the loss of choices.
I see people grieving the loss of outings.
I see people grieving the loss of family gatherings.
I see people grieving the loss of rites of passage events.
I see people grieving the loss of a normal routine.
I see people grieving the loss of going to school & work.
I see people grieving the loss of Sunday worship gatherings.
I see people grieving the loss of control over our lives.
I see people grieving the loss of the illusion that we had control over our lives to begin with.
So much loss.
So much pain.
So much grief.
When we don't know we're dealing with pain in our lives, or if we don't know how to grieve the pain we are feeling, this often turns to anger as an expression of what's going on inside of us.
It can also come out as other things, such as depression, sadness, apathy, etc.
But what I'm noticing among folks is a huge amount of change that we were thrust into, coupled with severe limitations on our everyday lives, and how some are processing that as anger - and the rest of us are hearing all about it.
When I'm angry, I'm always curious about unprocessed grief that is hiding just beneath the surface.
When folks around me are angry, I'm always curious about unprocessed grief in their lives.
So, what are we to do?
As a pastor, my role is to invite folks to FEEL what they are feeling, and to encourage them to bring these feelings into God's presence, through prayer, through reading the psalms, and through the biblical tradition of lament.
God is close to those who are angry. God is near to those who are hurting.
Our anger becomes destructive when we refuse to listen to it and to bring it to God. Our anger becomes destructive when we project our feelings onto another person, or a group of people, because they are an easy target - say elected officials, or our kids, or the endless Lebron vs. MJ GOAT debate. Whatever your anger jam happens to be.
Pay attention to what is making you angry.
Listen to what it has to teach you.
It may be an invitation by God's Spirit to lament your lack of control in this life in God's presence.
Our ability to grieve our losses, and feel our pain in God's presence, is correlated with our ability to develop empathy and compassion for our neighbors.
I wonder if this is also correlated with our ability to develop empathy and compassion for ourselves? Because we're all going through A TIME right now. Let's be patient with ourselves, knowing that we're going to get things wrong a lot right now. And that's ok.
Maybe this is simply an opportunity to practice repentance on a daily basis? It's difficult to stay angry and self-focused when we practice regular repentance.
This is a key component to practicing the Greatest Command - loving God with our whole being, and loving our neighbors as ourselves.
After all, the commandment from Jesus is to "love your neighbor as yourself." Which is infinitely more difficult than it sounds, right?
Let's practice this together.
Let's feel what we're feeling, and bring this into the presence of God.
You can do that.
So can I.
Are you with me?
Grace & Peace for the journey, my friends.
May it be so.
I Wasn't Prepared For This - A Pastor's Lament
I wasn't prepared for this.
To varying degrees, this has been my mantra as of late.
If I'm honest, this has been my mantra for the past six or more years. But even more so during the past 2-3 weeks.
We went from making Holy Week and Easter plans at the church I lead, to figuring out how to make my guitar sound decent over a microphone plugged into my iphone that I brought 10 days ago when the entire model of my job shifted.
Just a few days ago I used to meet up with people every day, and dream about crafting meaningful worship gatherings for people to connect with God and others while curating small groups and pastoral counseling environments to help people along the Journey.
I left much of this behind two weeks ago when I began working overtime trying to keep people connected to God and others during the first major pandemic in our lifetimes.
I wasn't prepared for this.
As I've been checking in with myself, and with other pastors over the past two weeks, the common theme I'm sensing in myself, and hearing from others, is that of exhaustion, overwhelm, helplessness, and a loss of control.
We are scared.
We don't know if our churches can survive financially.
We don't know how to care for people without being in a room together.
We're doing our absolute best, but it never feels like enough.
(this is the weight most pastors carry most of the time)
But as I've read and reflected on all of this in my own heart, I think the deeper stream that needs to be tended to is grief.
We have all lost something meaningful to us in a matter of days.
We all have the potential of losing people we love, people we worship alongside and create a community with, over the course of the coming days and weeks.
We are all hurting.
We all feel disoriented.
We are all grieving.
And this has only just begun.
I wasn't prepared for this.
We don't yet know what life will look like on the other side of this pandemic.
People we love may get very sick.
People will die.
Jobs will be lost.
Our economy may be in shambles.
Some churches may have to close.
Some businesses too.
Everything may go back to normal in a few months.
But it may not.
And it's the unknown that feels overwhelming right now.
As my professor, Kyle Small has said in recent days, "I've never had my trust in chariots and horses challenged as much as it has been over the past few weeks."
I wasn't prepared for this.
We're all feeling a sense that things are out of our control. And when we lose that sense of control, we all respond differently.
I'm feeling anxious, and sad. I'm feeling uncertain about the coming weeks and months.
I'm feeling like I don't know how to be a pastor at this moment when I'm alone in my office all day, creating content for others to (hopefully) be encouraged by. Making phone calls to people in my community, hoping to give a word of encouragement. Working to keep my staff and elder teams connect over the phone and via zoom.
I wasn't prepared for this.
I don't know how to do this.
The end of our illusion of control is the beginning of our ability to receive and experience the grace and goodness of God.
Even as I type these words, I'm not sure I believe them.
But this is where I am.
God's grace is a gift.
A gift cannot be taken.
A gift is something we receive.
It's the same with God's goodness.
It shows up in surprising places, often when we least expect it.
I wasn't prepared for this.
I don't know how to do this.
I feel alone in my disorientation.
But I *know* I'm not alone.
"And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age."
-Matthew 28:20
We are not alone.
I am not alone.
You are not alone.
The God of All Things knows my name.
My family loves me and is here with me.
I have my life and my health and I'm able to read and write and make videos where I lead people in prayer, in worship, and in my favorite Gospel soaked sentence over the past year - Remember Who You Are.
I wasn't prepared for this.
I didn't choose this.
I don't want this.
But I am not alone.
YOU are not alone.
YOU are not forgotten.
YOUR pain is real.
YOUR grief is real
You are invited to bring that pain and that grief to the God of All Things.
Because that same God who holds the seas and heavens together knows your name and calls you his adopted daughter or son.
You are hairs to a kingdom, and you have a King as your Father.
Did you know?
I wasn't prepared for this.
I don't feel ready for this.
I *still* don't want this.
But God is with us.
And there is nothing to fear.
So may you KNOW the grace and goodness of God today.
May you reach out to those that you love, and stay connected to them in any way that you can.
May you cling to the God of All Things.
And in doing so, may you remember you are not forgotten,
you are not forsaken, and you are not alone.
May you remember who you are today.
Seven Ways To Stay Healthy During The COVID-19 Pandemic
If you're anything like me, your world has been turned upside down over the past few days. Everything is canceled, work patterns have shifted in strange ways, people aren't getting together - and all for good reasons.
That said, its slowly dawning on me how long this new normal might last for us. So what's a person to do to stay healthy during a pandemic? I don't have all the answers to that question, but a few good practices come to mind.
1. Limit Your Exposure To Media
It's one thing to stay informed with the most up to date news and guidelines from local authorities. It's an entirely different thing to consume so much media (social media, cable tv, that one guy's youtube channel where he makes fun of everything) that you begin to feel stressed out, depression, or that the world is going to end. Now, it's true that things have changed dramatically for many of us in just a few days, but I've found that my sanity relies on keeping my media consumption to a minimum. I stay informed through a few newspapers, and I check cdc.gov and michigan.gov at least once a day for any new COVID-19 updates. If I need analysis, I turn to NPR. But I can only take so much. If you're feeling weighed down by overconsumption of media, turn it off, and then do something listed below. Also, I highly suggest that you practice a media-fast one day each week. I’ve been doing this, and it’s a great reset for my mental, emotional, and spiritual health.
2. Go For A Walk Outside
You need to move. You need fresh air. Even if you live in a crowded city, there is likely a park within walking distance where you can sit under a tree, walk a path, or just get some fresh air. Whenever I'm feeling down, even in the long and coldest of Michigan winters, I go outside to move my body. I feel better to some degree 100% of the time. If you need a more rigorous workout at home, try the scientific 7-minute workout.
3. Read A Book
You know that stack of books sitting on your nightstand? Or that novel you've been telling yourself you'll read *someday*? Well, now is your chance. Reading, like most things worth doing in life, takes a bit more effort than, say, watching Netflix, but the payoff in both engagement and the potential for healthy stimulation is worth it. We’ve been reading the Wilderking Trilogy, and The Wingfeather Saga as a family, which are both wonderful choices to get lost in a fun all-ages novel. I’ve really been enjoying The Leader’s Journey for my own personal reading. Reading not only makes you feel smarter, but it may just put you to sleep, which leads me to...
4. Take A Nap And/Or Get 8-9 Hours of Sleep Each Night
Sleeping is healing, as my nutritionist says. Getting plenty of sleep is the best thing you can do for your body as you try to heal from all sorts of abuse our bodies go through when we're stressed. Regular exercise (see number 2 on this list) is right up there too. Get plenty of rest, so your body can heal itself. I’ve been feeling run down at the end of the day for the past few days. I’ve been sleeping from 9pm to 7am, and it’s done me so much good. Get plenty of rest, my friends.
5. Eat Healthy, Balanced Meals
I'm of the mind that Michael Pollan is on to something when he says "eat food, not too much, mostly plants." one of the best things you can do for you health right now is to put away the junk food, eat plenty of vegetables, lean meats, whole grains, fresh fruits, and generally anything that could be considered a "Real Food." Eating healthy food is the perfect way to take care of yourself right now. Become aware of your habits to eat when you're stressed (anybody else?), to over-indulge when you are feeling down or tired, or to snack the day away. Eat food, not too much, mostly plants. I’m making this for dinner tonight.
6. Phone A Friend
Stay connected to the people you love by calling them, setting up Facetime or Zoom calls, sending Marco Polo messages - whatever you need to do to stay connected. A phone call is better than a text message for many of us right now, simply because we're missing connection to people. The Marco Polo app is a great way to send a video message. Give it a try. Remember - isolation is a choice for many of us. Choose to stay connected with the tools that we have available to us.
7. Practice The Presence of God
Now more than ever our spiritual health will determine how you are able to endure this time of social isolation. Prayer is not something we perfect. It is something we practice. If you find yourself being bored or distracted during times of prayer, just remember this is normal. Start with a few minutes of silence, read some scripture, sing a song, pray for those you love, and the world around you, and end with a few more minutes of silence, asking God to speak to you during these times. If you need some assistance I’m making Daily Prayer videos on weekdays right now. I’d love to have you follow along.
What Happens Next?
I wish I could answer this question. No one knows, right? I guess we’re not nearly as in control of our lives as we care to think we are. I suppose that leaves space for us to cling to God’s Spirit, to invite God’s presence, and to grieve the loss that we may be feeling. God is close. God is near. You are not forgotten. Take care of yourselves, my friends. We will get through this.
Grace & Peace,
David